transformed

August of 2010 I moved to Raleigh... forever changing my life. I have been living here for about six months now and I cannot believe how much has changed! Back in Ohio I was involved in some stupid ungodly things that I am not proud of. I new I was created for so much more than how I was living but could never seem to find a way to get out of it or it never seemed easy to make the right choice. I was pushed to my limit and new if I didn't make the choice to get out of the situation I was in and move down here i would be forfeiting my future and all the plans I thought God had for  me. Over the last six months we have been working through things from the past and I have been growing and changing and discovering who I am in Christ and how much he loves me and is for me. I used to be very insecure but I would never admit that... I pretended like I had it all together and  nothing you said would effect me. I couldn't go places by myself without being so self absorbed about what everyone who was there was thinking of me. It created so much anxiety. I realize that the root issue I was dealing with was pride. I didn't want to feel stupid, I didn't want to be criticized or told what  I did wrong because that meant you didn't like me and that I basically suck. That mind set is deadly let me just tell you how sneaky pride is I thought I was humble and cared about other people but you cant truly care  about others when your main focus is inward not outward. I want to be humble and care for people genuinely but the only way that is possible is to serve others and let them be your main focus. God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble (James 4:6) It doesn't matter if someone along the way doesn't like me anymore I know who I am in Him and I don't want my main focus to be on myself I want it to be on others. Keep in mind that God is our refuge and strength..(Psalm 46:1). He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. (Psalm 145:8) He is for you and can change you  when you put your mind on things that are true and truly seek to be changed.