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Comment by Janel Dinley on November 16, 2009 at 4:22pm

Hey beautiful Jen,
I don't know of anyone who hasn't had friend issues, so please don't feel like you are alone in this! You are so right, "just kidding" isn't just kidding! Proverbs 12:18 says, Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Words released from our mouths are kinda like toothpaste once squeezed out it's impossible to put them back. After something is said it will always leave a residue, we choose if it’s blood or a healing ointment!
This is what I know practically from being on both sides of similar situations.

Hurting people hurt people...often times people will criticize others out of their own insecurities or weakness. So the things that she is lashing out at you about is most likely directly related to negative thoughts she has about herself. Knowing that can help guide your prayer for this person and also help direct you to positive words to speak into her life. You can do a search on BibleGateway.com for works like wisdom, knowledge, and mind of Christ to get God's perspective.

You have to use wisdom and desernment when it comes to spending time with her. To have that you’ll have to be spending time in the Word and in prayer. You might need to take time and space from this one to gather His thoughts on how to proceed. I just looked up friend in the dictionary one of the definitions says, "a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile," I’m not feeling like that definition really describe the person you are talking about right now.

Here’s another definition that caught my eye, "a person who fosters harmful designs against, or engages in antagonistic activities against another; an adversary or opponent." You guessed it that's the definition for Enemy! If she doesn’t know who she is in Christ and doesn’t understand that she has her own unique plan and purpose she might see you as an adversary or opponent. Like your peace, joy and blessing somehow makes less available for her.

Here's the good news there are no new "how to deal with your enemy" tactics to learn because the way you treat an enemy is the same way you treat a friend!

The bible says in Matthew 5:44:48 (msg),
I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.
In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."

I love that last part, Live out your TRUE Identity... your God-created one.

Jen, you were created for greatness! You are alive for such a time as this! God has planted valuable seed inside of you that is being developed (even through this situation) and when it comes forth it is going to make His name famous and bring glory to His kingdom!!
Let's be honest with the whole Rise Up Effect... as we RISE that leaves others seated... don’t expect those seated in status-quo-world to cheer us on! The enemy wants us discouraged, ignorant of our God given rights, confused and ultimately to sit back down.
Ephesians 6:12 says, For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

So gorgeous daughter of the KING put on the armor of God and let’s draw our swords and kick some devil butt!! With the LOVE of CHRIST!!
Heaven believes in you and so do we!
LOVE YOU xoxoxo
Janel