Free Fallin'

So we all know how intense going to school can be. Meeting new people, studying material that makes zero sense to us and planning out our outfits for the next day... well sometimes we get to caught up in the superficial and the material. I know I did. I don't like saying that I "back slid" that term seems too much, but I did wander from the path I know that I was supposed to be on. It was like all of a sudden I was blind and lost. The worst feeling was I knew what being in the light felt like I just wanted to figure out who I was. I thought that maybe I could do things on my own and discover who I was. I guess I'm one of those hard headed people who has to do things in order to learn from them. 

Well after being in the dark for a while I started reading about Jobe and his struggles. Some of my real friends started reaching out to me because I wasn't discovering who I was... it was more like me wading in a pool of things I knew I shouldn't be. Like your mom telling you to put on sunblock but you ignore her warnings anyway and you get extremely burnt. I was free falling. Trying to live life to the fullest. HA, what a joke. What I was doing wasn't living life. Partying, hanging out with the wrong crowds was just the tip of the iceberg. I felt alone and I wanted to find attention. 

Why is it that we always turn away from what is right in front of our faces. After a couple failed relationships, visits to the hospital and a wake up call I realized that I had left the perfect man just so I could explore my options. He had pursued me and He was still there even when I had turned my back on him. Sometimes when I wake up the first thing I do is think about how awful I was and I'm getting through everything. God tells us we should have a prayer closet so I literally pray in my closet (no worries it's a walk in closet)... and talking to Him doesn't make me feel alone. Take it from someone who grew up in a church; growing up in church doesn't mean you're safe. I didn't intentionally try to stray... I just stopped looking for God, ignored him and eventually I couldn't hear Him anymore until I said, "That's enough!"... and then I could hear God again. I was happy again. 

So if anyone feels like they're alone or not good enough even though you still go to church... chances are you stopped listening and you're ignoring God's advances. He wants to win us over to sweep us ladies off of our feet... You're not alone, you're just blinded. Take off the blind folds and stop free falling... WORK ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, just the same way you work on your relationship with your boyfriend, or best friends.. it takes effort otherwise your just wading in a pool without sunscreen even though your mom has offered and told you to put some on.